So yesterday morning at about 6:30 am I had a text from my dad which nearly made me sick. My mum was taken in to hospital with a lung infection and pneumonia, I was so scared! Later that morning I went to get train to meet my sister but I was too busy with anxious thoughts I missed my train and had to wait another hour on the platform for another train. My anxiety levels rose "Oh my God, what happens if I have a panic attack, what happens if I have a vertigo attack, nobody is here to help me!!" I started to think of good feelings about being with my mum and sister, being at home at night time with my son and girlfriend just chilling out and it helped to calm me down.
I got back home around 8:30 and had a little cry, I think I was overwhelmed with the anxiety and seeing my mum ill.
It's weird and horrible how these irrational thoughts just take over us, they get us in a state of panic and we fear everything. It's hard to rationalise sometimes but I guess we have to force ourselves to do it.
I hopefully have some CBT coming my way soon and hopefully it helps, but for today I am spending the day at home chilling out! I have a few anxious moments but I am trying to keep my mind focused on other things.
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